New Grocery Store Opens. People Buy Groceries.
Humor News from my front porch
By Adrian Huffnpuff
A new grocery store opened this week. Upon arrival, shoppers were greeted by doors which automatically opened and closed to allow them to easily pass through this new majestic palace of convenience. Once inside, shoppers loaded groceries into their carts as the strolled down the aisles listening to non-vocal versions of the latest melodic pop hits. After finishing their shopping lists, shoppers gracefully loaded their items onto conveyor belts where employees scanned and tallied the values of their bountiful selections.
“I came here because I needed to buy a gallon of milk.” Said Susan of Toms River who was pushing her 2 year old boy Josh around in her shopping cart “I figured on my way out, I would head down the baby needs aisle to get some extra diapers and wipes for the weekend for my baby.” When asked what he felt about the new store. Josh refused to comment and had a tantrum as he was intent on pulling a booger out of his nose before speaking to this reporter.
On Aisle 12, Hank Edwards, a senior from a nearby community commented on the appearance of the new store. “It’s clean. It’s new. “ he said. “The bus took me here, I don’t know.” He griped when asked why he chose the new store.
The new store has a vast array of produce ranging from fruits and vegetables to a full service deli and meat department. Any marketing executives from the corporation reading this, please, note, I plastered your business all over my blog site this month, can you spare some loose change, my boss tells me while he’s impressed with my ability to turn this story into a 12 part month long series, he needs to see some return on his investment.
Want more Porch SUPER-HYPER-LOCAL?
http://www.tomsrivernjonline.com/2011/08/22/its-raining-outside/2238/
Posted by Ocean County News
on Nov 18 2011. Filed under Community.
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